“i’ve made this whole world shine for you”
Time and time again, music has saved me by explaining and transferring into words things my mind, brain, and soul could not. It has been my wall, my hidden memories, it has listened to me cry and knows exactly what to tell me when even I could not take care of myself. You know all my motivations, my reputation, and point of views. You creep into my brain and access all my emotions, my strengths, my weaknesses. You move my body, lullaby my soul, calm my mind, and you rest my thoughts. From the early morning to the end of time.
I’ve been over thinking again. Replaying over and over things I would like to do one day. To tell my story and make people uncomfortable by how raw and dark my nightmares are.
I want to buy a little notebook to take with me wherever I go. Spend a whole day at a used bookstore. overflow myself with luxuries i never had. Put a cashmere hair mask in my hair and cover my body in 24 karate gold. I’m looking for an end of a repetition of my routines.
a million stories written on their faces, eyes that look like
they have seen things the heart cannot bear,
voices that beg to reveal their secrets.
Thank you! I’ve loved her since 500 days of summer, she’s so great :)
you bleed to death.
The hot september winds glide across the sky like a plane lifting the hair off my damp neck. the sky is a warm color of burnt amber, burning the air, burning the trees everything is burning up up up the sky is hazy at dusk breathing smoky air into my lungs, my eyes are on fire. tears form in pools on my cheeks flow like warm milk down my neck. I lift my arms up light as the air itself, the heat licks them dry burning my soft white skin. the heat is intense, it just wants to burn burn burn everything away. I would burn up just like everything else. I am no different.
To anyone who reads my entries,you have no idea how much i appreciate it, even if your eyes just skim through my sometimes drab entries, you inspire me, the idea of actually being heard inspires me to keep putting down my thoughts and not being suffocated by them. i love having an open journal, in which strangers can look into my life from a safe distance, where their criticism cannot hurt me. some of my entries are just lists and facts that holds no value, but i do post things that i have poured my soul into, that no one else has heard. you give me the motivation to put my guard down and give up every secret. i’ve found myself wanting to post pieces of my novel i’ve written but closing the page before posting it, giving away your art is the biggest challange you can ever face.